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Let's just call everyone "hoss", as in "Hey hoss, can you get this stupid machine to stop pitching a fit out about the bag I'm just trying to load my scanned groceries in to?". It's pretty solid! If they mishear you, they'll think you said "boss", and who is that going to offend?1
However, while "hoss" is an absolutely hilarious way to refer to anyone, its roots are in the word "horse". That seems unfortunate at best for a catch-all term. I also rejected Amy's next idea, "dollface", which was equally hilarious but even more problematic. Next, I spent some time considering "buddy". I wish it could work, but it just sounds far too informal to my ear.
